Are you a lady blogger looking to make that jump to chick cewebrity?

The best way I know of to raise your worth in any perception based area is to have massive, fake breasts. All it takes now is a quick stint in our country's prestigious military, and you can get those tubular ta-tas you've always wanted -- and all the cewebrity that'll come with them -- free.

See what happens when you bring these things to misshapes. (Note: Leigh, you don't need these. You're hot.)

"The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, 'the surgeons have to have someone to practice on.'"

[ Report: Bigger breasts offered as perk to soldiers ]

Tell me America doesn't rock. Tell me democracy doesn't work. Tell me fake boobs aren't awesome.